


i want simplicity

by arekiras



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Conversations, Edom Angst (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 17:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arekiras/pseuds/arekiras
Summary: Sometimes, the thing Alec wants more than anything is a simple life with the man he loves. The universe seems content to deny him.Magnus and Alec talk about Edom and the fate of heroes.





	i want simplicity

Even as the words leave his mouth, Alec knows they’re fanciful, inconsequential. “Come away with me,” he says, quietly, breaking the half hour of silence which had stretched between them. 

Magnus startles, eyes snapping to Alec’s face, confusion creasing his brow. Which makes sense, considering the last thing Magnus had said was, “I’m going to Edom.” 

Alec smiles, a hollow thing, but a smile nonetheless, and takes Magnus’ hand. “Come away with me. Let’s leave,” he gestures out the balcony doors, as if referring to the entire expanse of the world beyond the sprawl of the city. “Leave this behind us. Go somewhere else.” 

Magnus tilts his head, as if considering, and Alec thinks it may be a mercy. No one has ever understood him so perfectly. Magnus must understand that Alec needs this, needs Magnus to pretend that there’s some escape. If they left the city, left the state, he needs to believe that their problems wouldn’t follow. He needs to believe that they’d leave at all, even truly consider it. Just for a while. 

“Where?” Magnus asks.

Alec shrugs, eyes taking on a manic cast. “Anywhere you want. Someplace where we’re different. I’m not a Shadowhunter and you’re not Asmodeus’ son. Where we’re just…” Alec pauses, looking at Magnus imploringly, waving his hand between them where they sit on the couch together. 

“Magnus and Alec?” Magnus suggests helpfully, and Alec nods gratefully. 

“Yeah. Just Magnus and Alec,” Alec sighs, leaning back into the cushions behind him. “Just us. No world ending, no parabatais, no Clave, no Downworld.” The words float out his mouth, weightless. Meaningless. They’re just words. There is no such place away from the Clave. No place away from their predetermined destiny. Destined to be heroes, destined to be the ones who save the world, not just live in it. 

“Alaska,” Magnus says decisively. “Nothing ever happens in Alaska.” 

“Just moose and snow,” Alec says, slightly hysterical laughter bubbling up in his throat. He swallows it down like a bitter pill. “I just. I just want to be in love with you.” He turns to face Magnus fully, moving closer so that their knees are touching. 

“Are you not?” Magnus asks. 

“I  _ am _ . But I want that to be it. Not,  _ I’m in love with you but we’re from different worlds _ . Or, _ I’m in love with you but you’re immortal and I’m not _ . Or,  _ I’m in love with you but you have to go to a Hell dimension _ .” Alec takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to reign in the desperation in his chest, coursing through his veins. He’s fighting something primal, a fight or flight response. It tastes like panic and impending heartache. 

“A love without buts,” Magnus says thoughtfully, the joke not landing even though his mouth twitches with what might have been a smile. 

“Is that stupid?” Alec asks, deflating. 

“No,” Magnus says, “I just don’t think that’s us. I wish it could be.” 

Alec closes his eyes, unable to look at the ugly world any longer, and leans into Magnus’ side, head on his shoulder. He rests there a while, thoughts and emotions clamoring for attention inside his head until all he wants is to scream and scream and scream. 

Nowhere will be far enough. Not Alaska, not anywhere. No matter what they want, no matter how hard they try, Magnus still has to go to Edom. Alec still has to run the Institute. They both have to keep living out their lives, aching for those perfect moments where the stars align and they’re able to reach out and touch one another. Hold on so tight that the world thinks twice before pulling them apart. But still, inevitably, doing so anyway. 

“I don’t want you to go,” Alec mumbles. 

“I’ll come back to you,” Magnus promises, tightening his arm around Alec’s shoulders and Alec wraps an arm around Magnus’ waist. “Always. Forever.” 


End file.
